The Paper Tie Affair Blog — wedding invitation etiquette

The one thing we get asked about time and time again as stationery pros? All about wedding postage and addressing. From formality of addressing guest names to adding the postage on the envelope - we’re breaking down all you need to know when crafting your address list and ordering postage! Read on for our top tip

Return Address

The return address should always appear on the back flap, and traditionally it does not need to include a name, though more than often it is still added. We also love placing monograms on the flap for an extra touch of personalization. The return address is typically either your parent’s address or the bride and groom’s address. Another option to some money on printing is to use a return address stamp that has been custom made for this purpose. A stamp allows you to use any color ink (even metallic colors!) and is very affordable.

Digital Addressing

Digital printing is the most cost effective way to address your envelopes, while still keeping them looking formal and elegant. We can typeset your addresses in a coordinating font and have them printed digitally. Many brides opt for this option because it saves time, and it is usually a small incremental cost to your wedding suite.

Rules of Addressing

There are so many different scenarios for the proper address formats - married couples, families, doctors, military personnel - but the most general rule to follow in addressing your wedding envelopes is that everything gets spelled out. (Rd. = Road, St . = Street, Ln = Lane) We will provide you with a template to use so that your addresses are properly formatted. Making sure that your addresses appear exactly how you want them to on your envelopes is always a huge time savings.

We also have this handy Resource page, where you can download a file to enter all of your guest addresses, so that we can print them right on the envelopes! Trust me, your hand will thank you! 

Check Postage Before Buying Stamps

Take the entirely assembled invitation suite (or two if there are variations, ex: one for local guests, another for out of town guests, which may include additional enclosures) to the post office to be weighed. It’s likely that additional inserts, or extras/add ons - such as ribbons or belly bands - will call for extra postage. Square invitations (and envelopes) require more postage than rectangle formats. Also, make it easy for guests to send back their reply cards by adding postage to the small reply envelopes.

Postage Options

There are so many options for postage on your wedding invitations, and we believe that you shouldn’t settle for Forever stamps. The post office offers several “wedding” postage stamps that may be in line with your colors and overall theme. These stamps are for larger weights, and therefore you may need more than one stamp to cover the cost of one invitation. Completely custom stamps with a monogram or photo are unfortunately no longer available to purchase (USPS did away with these).

Another option to really personalize your envelope is to curate your own collection of vintage stamps. There are thousands of options when it comes to vintages stamps: colors, patterns, states, and special events. Because vintage stamps are from decades past and were designed for letters that cost .5 or .10 cents to mail, you may need many of them on one envelope. This can get pricy for every envelope, so if it's not in your budget we recommend you order about 5 sets for keepsakes, styling photos, and special guests!

You've picked out your perfect wedding invitations, now it's time to get down to the details. Wedding invitation etiquette can get tricky - but we're here to help! Read on to learn our tips for wording your perfect invitation. 

Host Names 

Based on traditional wedding invitation etiquette, the first lines of your invitations should be telling your guests who is hosting the wedding. If more than one family is hosting, or if the couple is paying themselves, or even if you have a complicated family, there are many other wording options for you. One of the more popular choices is “Together with their families”, since couples feel like it’s a perfect way to say that all families had a hand in contributing to their big day.

Request Line

This is where you ask your guests to attend your wedding. Based on the formality of your ceremony, or even your unique personality, there are many ways to word this. Something more traditional is: “cordially invite you to celebrate the wedding of.”

The Couple

The couple's name is one of the most special, and memorable, pieces of your wedding invitations. The bride’s name usually appears before the groom’s name. If the bride's parents are listed at the top, then only her first and middle name are needed, since her last name is at the top with her parents. Traditionally, it would be the groom's full name. For a less formal feel, you can use only first names or opt for only first and last, without any middle names. Same sex couples can be listed in any order you choose.

Groom's Parents (optional)

Occasionally, the groom’s parents are added after the groom’s name. You can add something like “son of Mr. and Mrs. Jeremy Reeves”. This is the most traditional way to do so, but not required, and you won't be breaking any wedding invitation etiquette rules if you don't include them.

Date and Time

Traditionally, all dates and times are spelled out on the wedding invitations, but again, modern weddings sometimes use the numerical references for dates. When writing the date, the day of the week is always capitalized, as well as the month and the first letter of the year. When writing the time, everything should be spelled out, with references only to morning, afternoon and evening. Any references to half-hour increments should be written as “half past two in the afternoon”.

Ceremony Location

Include the location of your ceremony, as well as the city and state. Zip codes are not normally included, but if you feel that your guests will be confused by leaving it off, by all means include it. 

Reception

Include the location of your reception (if it differs from the ceremony site). You can have fun here by saying "dinner and dancing to follow" or just the standard "reception to follow". It's a great place to mention if it's adults only or if special attire is requested.